Ill thinkingMartha, not knowing it, reveals us the reason why she is always so agitated, anxious, busy, worries, always distracted by the many things she has to do. She reveals it through what she told Jesus: Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me. Martha apostrophised and judged Jesus as He was someone who is not interested in what was happening in the present, as one who does not care, who is indifferent, and on top of that, she imperatively added to Jesus, God’s Son, to obey to her order and call Mary to duty.
This is the reason why Martha is always so agitated, anxious and worried, Not knowing it and without being aware Martha is thinking ill of Jesus, and therefore, of God. Thinking ill of God does not mean to be evil, but it means orienting our thoughts to criticize and judge God and what, according to us, is His will and work. Thinking ill of God, thinking that He is not interested in us and in what happens to us, that he does not love us endlessly in every moment, is the inner dialogue that generates agitation and worry, it creates anxiety. Thinking ill of God and apostrophize Him for His disinterest in our life, makes us afraid that we will not make it, not being good enough. Thinking ill of God, in time, generates also the arrogant and imperative belief that we can order God what He has to do according to our will and needs. Thinking ill of God means considering Him somehow responsible of how our life goes.
Jesus answered Martha with the most tender and endless patience, but very clearly, and revealed her that, through her way of thinking, she chose for her life the worst part, the mind’s system which guarantees, without mistakes, unhappiness, constant worry and anxiety. This mind’s attitude does not allow man to dive in prayer and meditation, to immerse proficiently in God’s Word to understand it in His vastness and richness.
Mary is not better than Martha, she is not holy a priori, but in her mind’s system there is no thinking ill of God, there is not even the farther perspective that Jesus could be guilty of anything, there is not the arrogance to bend Him to her will, and this prepares her to listen to the Lord of everything calmly and humbly. Never thinking ill of God is the first necessary step to being able to feel Him present in our heart and begin to interweave with Him a beautiful relationship of love and trust.